I've got so much to say, but I don't know where to start from.

Loads and loads and loads and loads.

Happy ones, sad ones, angry ones.

Time is running out for me !

And I want to rant out a lot of things over here!

But it's alright, just want to let you all know out there that I'm fine, I'm still surviving, treading water in the deep deep blue blue sea, hoping that one day, I'll find my way back to the shore

With love,
grace :)

This is my 400th post.
But I'm sad.

I feel drained out, by academics, by peer pressure, by family.

I don't know where to start from to rant and vent out all my anger, my sadness.
I don't know where to start from to start studying for As.
I don't know where to start from to console my family,

I feel sad.
I feel pressurised.
I feel stress.

But what can I do?

I've to put on a real two-sided face both in school and at home.
Can someone really tell me what to do?

I hate school now, I've phobia of my class, phobia of everything.
One by one, everyone is leaving. And now, I'm left with myself all alone, to come face to face with my class.
It's not that I hate my class, it's the actions and behaviours and their smartness in them that makes me stupid, makes me think that I'm useless, hopless and makes me want to run away from them, from everything.
Even what my CLL teacher says also makes me think that way. And now, I've got no more motivation from my friends. No one will understand what I'm thinking of now.

And worse at home, sigh. I don't even want to talk about it.
I've got the worse case ever.

FML.
I really really feel like killing myself now.

FML

FML.

Seriously I feel that my life sucks.
I feel so hopeless.
I mean, i don't know what to say.
Emotions are engulfing over me to the extent that I don't know if I should be glad or if I should be sad.

People around me are giving me peer pressure.
I don't know what my reaction should be like know.

I feel hopeless.
I feel that I've let myself down.
I feel useless.
I feel that I've let everyone down.

I feel like escaping from reality, can I?

It's not only about her, it's about me.
I feel totally sad about everything.

I want to cry everything out.
I don't want to breakdown again in front of anyone.

Please, leave me alone.
For I will really breakdown in front of you, I swear.